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It’s a Southern Thing

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Grand Poobah
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    Posted: March-15-2007 at 7:32am




A few jokes to offend most Southerners, and one reprieve:

Tennessee

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he
decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into
his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I
need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would
you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."


Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the
day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. Henry
had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the
successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the
deer back?" they inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal
Henry!"


Louisiana

A senior at LSU was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I
hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be
in Louisiana because everything happens inLouisiana 20 years later than in
the rest of the civilized world.

Mississippi

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his
buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?

"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number."



Georgia


A Georgia State trooper pulled over a blonde on I-65. The trooper asked,
"Got any ID?"

The blonde replied, "Bout whut?"


North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road,
and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one
behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the
scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He
asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat
tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the
front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make sense to me neither."



And this from South Carolina

You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heard of
anyone retiring to the North
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8122pbrainard View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 8122pbrainard Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-15-2007 at 8:32am
Hey Dr, I'm going to northern Wisconsin for retirement so now you have heard that there are people that do like the cooler climates!!


54 Atom


77 Tique

64 X55 Dunphy

Keep it original, Pete
<
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boat dr View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote boat dr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-15-2007 at 8:38am
8122,I have no opinion on the subject, just thought it was cute.
I have been in the Deep South so long ,I would not know which way to fly for Spring................boat dr
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-15-2007 at 7:06pm
aka..the dirty south..lol....gotta bust balls billy
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote hasbeenskier Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-15-2007 at 8:20pm
Doc,     all good ones..... where do ya get em?
hasbeenskier
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boat dr View Drop Down
Grand Poobah
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote boat dr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-15-2007 at 11:24pm
Most of the jokes come from my future mother in law,born and raised a Boston Blue Blood,met Karens Dad while doing his residency{sp} at Johns Hopkins,M.D.Surgeon.Married her and drug her to the South,she is a HOOT.........and has a sense of humor
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote G Stonicher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-19-2007 at 12:56pm
I-65 in Georgia....... HMMMMMMMMMM. I-65 does not touch Georgia anywhere. Good Jokes though!!!!!!!!!!
20' Southwind
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boat dr View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote boat dr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-19-2007 at 1:14pm
G, I don't write this stuff, just pass on what i think will bring a smile,or a chuckle.........boat dr
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote G Stonicher Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-19-2007 at 2:16pm
That is exactly what it did,put a smile on my face. Did not mean it as a smart remark. Just thinking out loud.I guess
20' Southwind
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boat dr View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote boat dr Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: March-19-2007 at 2:45pm
Gary, did you read the latest one about the dog and the man on their journey to Heaven.
The older I get, the more I love my Dogs and the unconditional love they show me.If I want a chance at getting into this wonderful place,I need to be more like my Dogs and less human...............boat dr
I wonder when our dogs have their grapes removed[castrated]do they get them back when they get to Heaven.........
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