Dumb stuff people say about boats

Specialty boats are a lot like specialty cars, where nobody really knows much about them but still casts general knowledge and wisdom around, resulting in moronic comments. I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain what a ski boat is and why it's different from a typical boat.

I thought it might be fun to get a thread going on the dumbest stuff you've heard people say regarding your inboard.

For us, the best one was when my wife was loading the boat onto the trailer at the ramp and a salty old know-it-all insisted she trim up the outdrive before I pulled the boat out of the water- multiple times. He couldn't believe there was no outdrive. Never mind the giant hump in the center of the boat.

Another classic is that of course, if I say I have a boat (never mind explaining two boats) to somebody who's not into ski boats they ALWAYS say "break out another thousand", "hole in the water you throw money into", etc. And, if they had PREVIOUSLY owned a boat (and it's always some stupid, generic I/O or outboard) they love trumpeting that "only two good days of boat ownership- day I bought it and the day I sold it". Ugh. I always try to say something like "a true inboard is pretty simple to work on and I've done all the work myself over the past 11 years of boat ownership". Sigh. I've had this conversation so many times.

What dumb boat comments have you weathered over the years?

Trim it up as we neared the sandbar, from an outboard/I/o owner.
We still tell each other all the time to trim it up.

Then of course there's the "if it's propped right it'll do XXmph", some grossly inflated number.

quinner wrote: The automatic assumption if a boat has a tower it is a "Wakeboard Boat"

Even if it says AIR on the side, has an onboard ballast tank, and said tower has racks specifically designed for holding wakeboards?

"I uploaded a video of a 78 Master Craft on my channel that would eat this thing for lunch"


That was a comment on Joe's holeshot video on Youtube. Also soem references to a "speed prop". Youtube is a great place to find really dumb comments, especially on some of the barefooting videos. Maybe in my spare time I will browse for some. I've got to agree with Bruce, back in the 60s - 70s we heard that Chris Craft line about a billion times regarding our Mustang.

I saw one I/O owner on our lake pull their boat without raising their outdrive... and with the motor still running. So, it could be worse.

Starting the engine at the dock... a lot of time it turns heads. A few ask to see the engine. After lifting the engine cover a normal response seems to be "Wow, how fast does this run?" I tell them 45 - 50mph. At which time they usually say.. Ohhh, is that all?

Oletela wrote: "That thing has a 350/351 in it?! And it only does 45?!"

Jake, 11:19am ... same posting time.. same experiences!

At the boat ramp, I put the Mustang in, no mufflers. Almost everytime, someone comes over, "Hey man, how fast does that boat go?" They don't understand a fixed drive shaft. You have to explain what a tow boat is built for pulling, not top end speed.

I love it when the tourists arrive at our ramp with their shiny big cars and new acquired big boats... Then need like half an hour with three persons to get it off the trailer...
Especially when I'm next in line and need about three minutes to get my boat in... Car and trailer already parked and boat running when they come back from parking their car...

Then the question I always wait for (with a big smile on my face) when they come up to me at the ramp: "does it really go that fast?"
"Yes sir for me it does"


Another one was at the bar when a smartass guy said to me: "Yeah, Nautiques are the best waterjet propelled boats!"

I showed a picture of my boat to an old cowboy at work and he said. "how come you have a "roll bar" on your boat"?

Have been asked the roll bar question also. At GL one year, was moored in town waiting on my crew adjacent to my boat, a couple people walked up discussing what the speakers on my tower were, they were arguing whether they were jet thrusters of some sort or rope retrievers.

There was a post on PN recently by an owner asking if he could remove the pole in front of the engine as he was not sure what it was for, lol.

Yeah I get the typical "bust out another thousand", "hole in the water", and "two best days in a boat owners life" ALL THE TIME... Really drives me nuts.

On the flip side though, when joe blow decides to sell his boat that he didn't take care of and it doesn't work like it should, I was able to snag it for next to nothing and fix it up.

The best thing I ever heard from a boat owner: Friend of a friend bought a brand new Tahoe I/O a few years ago. Used it 10-15 times that summer and then parked it in his backyard in the same condition it was in when he pulled it out of the water. No plug pulled, no cover, no winterization, nothing... So when his boat was completely trashed come spring, he tried to sue Tahoe saying that their boat design was flawed because they didn't install an automatic bilge pump which in turn led to the flooding and destruction of his boats interior and engine.

I have changed the cap rotor plugs and impeller once in 12 years, over 800 hours. Haven't touched either stuffing box either but I might tighten them up this year. Maybe.

"You paid how much…and it didn't come with a trollin' motor?"

How about "yeah my (fill in the blank) has a fish and ski boat" or "Whats that thing got in it?" or while at the gas station filling up "Ya'll going fishin?" or   "Can you ski on one?" or "Can you barefoot ski?"